American Muslim

Ramadan II: Lessons from a Concentration Camp

Asalaam Alaikum Everyone,

Insha'allah (God willing) everyone reading this is having a blessed September. To my Muslim brothers and sisters, "Ramadan Mubarak!" This year's Ramadan started last Thursday, the 13th, and it's hard for me to believe it's been one year since my first experience with a month of fasting. I was discussing this with a friend, also a convert, and we both agreed that we know so much more now compared to last year, especially with the spiritual benefit of the month. May Allah (SWT) and others forgive me for my lack of knowledge and naivete last year during Ramadan. I look back at some of my posts from 12-13 months ago and I feel like I was fasting for the wrong reasons. I believe that now, I really understand the significance of this month and how to make the most out of it. It was all really enforced during jumuah prayers on Friday when the imam at the Islamic Foundation masjid (Villa Park, IL) gave a stirring sermon about the duality of submission during this holy month - by fasting we show submission of the body, but the even greater act is spiritual submission. When Muslims fast, we give up food to show our sacrifice to Allah (SWT), but the hunger we feel should not be just for want of food, but to want to be close to Allah (SWT) and to realize that we are submitting mind, body and soul to the will of Al-Tawwab (The Forgiver), Al-Mutakabbir (The Tremendous), Al-Kareem (The Generous).

This year I also made a decision to really show my sacrifice to Allah (SWT) by not over-eating during the night and to always be a little bit hungry. Again, there is a physiological reason (more superficial) and a deeper spiritual reason. From a medical perspective, the stomach is a balloon and its lining is elastic. The more food you put in, the bigger the ballon stretches. But, if you limit food intake over a consecutive number of days, then the balloon shrinks and your demand for food is reduced. That is one part of my limiting my intake. But, as a result of doing this, I feel constantly hungry and that ache, even at night when my nafs (desires) try and pry me out to get chocolate or something from the fridge, I am reminded of the sacrifice of being hungry even then. I was talking to Sara ("Out of Range") today and told her that I have been feeling so guilty about the simple act of eating of late after my visit last week to Prague, when my Dad and I spent a morning at Terezin, a former Nazi concentration camp. How can one leave a space like that and not feel guilty about eating?

Insha'allah, I hope and pray I have done nothing to invalidate my fasts these first few days. I pray that Allah (SWT) accepts the rests of my fasts this month and those of my friends.