Boycotting GSU

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - M.K. Gandhi

Asalaam Alaikum (Peace be with you),

Most of you know that I was set to resume graduate school next month at Georgia State, my alma mater, for an M.Ed./Ed.S. in School Psychology. I have blogged about this in the past and most know of my enthusiasm in getting trained in a new academic area and one where I hoped to contribute a lot, especially with regards to Muslim-American school children.

However, in the last week, my interest in going back to GSU has waned considerably following the public disclosure of a massive discrimination case there against my friend, Slma Shelbayah, who was asked if she was hiding a bomb under her hijab by Prof. Mary Stuckey. I knew about this problem almost a year ago, but Slma swore me to secrecy. Now however, it has become public knowledge and as the local, regional and national news media pick up the story and as people the world over are hearing about this case, I have had to do some serious thinking.

Do I want to support an institution that is blatantly standing by a tenured professor who discriminated against a young woman based on ethnicity and religion? Do I want to be a munafiq (hypocrite) and support a professor who recently wrote a book called "The Rhetoric of Hatred"?Do I want to give GSU my money and say that I support their academic and learning outcomes and objectives, while knowing full well that students like Slma are being discriminated against simply because they wear hijab (head scarf)? Is the situation in GSU not a smaller, albeit less violent, story of the one of the Egyptian woman who was murdered recently in Germany for wearing a hijab and has now become the "headscarf martyr"?

I say no. Please read my letter to GSU President Mark Becker. You can read all the comments from Facebook here.

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Department of Business and Social Sciences
Georgia Perimeter College
555 N. Indian Creek Dr.
Clarkston, GA 30021

July 9th 2009

Dear President Becker,

I had the wonderful opportunity to study at Georgia State from 2003 to 2007. During that time I earned an M.A. in Political Science (Class of 2006) and completed some doctoral work in the same; worked as a DJ and assistant program director at WRAS-Album 88; learned how to teach; and met many wonderful and inspirational teachers. But the biggest lesson I learned at GSU was one of tolerance as I was exposed to an extraordinarily diverse group of people from across the United States and world who all engendered changes in my personality that made me more open to multiculturalism and also more appreciative of multicultural teaching institutions.

Although I teach Political Science now full-time at Georgia Perimeter College, I decided recently to move in a new career direction in mental health so I applied for and was accepted to GSU’s prestigious Masters program in School Psychology. I accepted their offer of admissions and was all set to start graduate school next month at my alma mater. Well, until I heard about your handling of Slma Shelbayah’s case and the politics of Muslim and Arab discrimination.

I am outraged and appalled by the lack of support you and your administration have given to Slma as she has struggled to maintain her dignity and poise while her character has been attacked by GSU officials. And then to make matters worse, Georgia State has also targeted Dr. Dona Stewart for aiding Slma. I cannot believe that Dr. Mary Stuckey, an international expert on presidential rhetoric – and one of my first GSU professors - would be guilty of such blatant pseudo-liberalism by advocating on one side for liberal ideals and equality and on the other, abusing and discriminating against an Arab-American graduate student. In Arabic, we use the term “munafiq” to describe a hypocrite and that is just what Dr. Stuckey has become.

Therefore, I have decided to refuse to attend Georgia State University for future graduate studies while your administration continues to mollycoddle and support Dr. Stuckey at the school. I am taking a stand alongside other GSU alumni like my friend Zaynab Ansari who recently wrote to you about the same subject and who is feeling ambivalent herself about returning to GSU for grad school next year. I am taking a stand with Slma Shelbayah to let you know that as GSU alumni, we expected more from our alma mater, and that you have let us all down. I am already starting to hear about Muslim students hesitating about attending GSU and I fear, Dr. Becker, that this small ripple will become a wave of discontent from Muslims and everyone else who value their civil liberties.

I would like to hear from you about this matter and what you and your administration plan to do to ameliorate GSU’s new image as an institution unsupportive of religious and ethnic minorities on campus. I know that is a strong statement to make, but what other conclusion can be drawn after observing how your administration has stood by and supported a hateful educator?

Respectfully,



Shyam K. Sriram, M.A.
(Purdue ’02, Georgia State ’06)

ISNA 2009

Asalaam Alaikum (Peace be with you).

Insha'Allah, I will be at ISNA this weekend at the convention center in D.C. If you are going, please stop by my booth in the bazaar (#329) where I will be representing Baitul Salaam Network, Muslim Men Against Domestic Violence and Muslim Suicide Survivors Association. I have also agreed to display information from the Peaceful Families Project, Faith Trust Institute, Muslim Men Against Domestic Abuse and some other orgs. May Allah (SWT) fill all of our endeavors with baraka (abundance)!

Michael the Muslim

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon (From Allah we come and to Allah we return)

"Upon the Passing of Michael Jackson" by Imam Zaid Shakir, Zaytuna Institute (arguable the most famous American Muslim scholar).

A Second Chance




Asalaam Alaikum (Peace be with you),

I am not the biggest fan of pop/rock radio these days and much rather prefer to listen to lectures, audiobooks, NPR (especially "This American Life"), etc. However, there are some songs that I have heard lately that have really got me thinking about my life in ways that I didn't think was possible. In particular, I find myself transfixed in the car when either Nickelback's "If Today Was Your Last Day" or Shinedown's "Second Chance" are on the air.


The latter, in particular, is quite an amazing song - more of a ballad really from a hard rock band. But the lyrics are so darn fitting for my life and the problems/struggles faced by many of my friends, particularly those who have converted to Islam (alhamdulillah) and are facing daily obstacles.

"Tell my mother, tell my father/

I've done the best I can/

To make them realize, this is my life/

I hope they understand/

I'm not angry, I'm just sayin'/

Somtimes goodybe is a second chance."

As I have written about before, Hindu converts to Islam in particular face some daunting challenges in trying to balance their families expecations of who they think their children should be versus who the children want to be. I know all too well the emotional blackmail games my parents have played with me as they portray me as the worst son in the world, even as I struggle and plead with them to see me as the same son they gave birth to, albeit one who practices a different religion.

"Second Chance" is such a fitting song to my life and that of my friends who left Hinduism for Islam. One of my former Hindu friends who took the shahadah and became Muslim last year finally told her parents recently about her conversation and their response was so typical, so similar to what I went through and every other Hindu convert as well. Her parents were crying asking her what they had done wrong as parents and she was crying, trying to convince them they had done nothing wrong, but that she had to make a decision to live her life in her own way and that it was not a reflection of them as parents. That is a pretty unifying theme in the stories of Hindu converts to Islam - most of us lived in loving homes and were close to our parents, until we told them of our conversions and then all hell broke loose.

Just as it has taken three years for my parents to slowly realize that although I may be Muslim, I am still the same Shyam in many ways and hopefully a better son then I was before. May Allah (SWT) soften the hearts of all the Hindu parents who are angry, perplexed, confused and hurt and make all the new Muslims always good to our parents and show them that we are the same loving children they brought into this world.

The Power of Du'a

Asalaam Alaikum (Peace be with you),

I belong to an awesome group on Facebook called "Qur'an Weekly," which sends out an ayah (verse) of Qur'an every Monday and Thursday with tafseer (commentary). They also have a website here.

I was really moved by the tafseer of a recent posting and wanted to share it here. It deals with the power of du'a or supplication or prayer to Allah (SWT). As I was telling a friend in an email, I think that we, as Muslims, frequently forget that Allah (SWT) may not answer our du'a in this life, but only in the Hereafter. This means that we must continue to strive for His sake and ask Him to grant us the sabr (patience) to be among the Best. We know that in Sura Al-Ahzab Allah (SWT) describes the virtues of the believing men and women and refers to the patient men and the patient women.

Here's the post:
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In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

“And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be rightly guided.” [Al-Baqarah 2:186]

About thirteen verses in surah al-Baqarah begin with “they ask you about”, and the response to it is usually “say to them [O Muhammad]”, but in this particular verse, Allah did not put the Prophet (PUBH) in between. Allah answers directly to us. The scholars say this is very critical. The answer did not come with “say” because there is no one between you and Allah, no intercessor.

Allah says that he responds to each person’s invocation, so then how often does it seem like when we make dua, our dua does not seem to be answered? There are many answers to this. In one hadith we learn that Allah saves some duas to be answered in the hereafter if they are not answered immediately. Or instead, he will avert an equivalent amount of evil. [mentioned in at-Tirmdhi and the Musnad of Imam Ahmad]

A great scholar from the past, Ibrahim ibn Adham (may Allah have mercy on him) also responded to why duas are not answered, “Because you know Allah, yet you do not obey him. And you know the Prophet (PBUH) but do not follow his sunnah. And you know the Quran but do not act upon it. And you eat from the blessings of Allah, but you do not express gratitute for it. And you know jannah, yet you do not strive for it. And you know jahannam, yet you do not run away from it. And you know the Shaitan, but you do not fight him, instead you obey him. And you know death, but you do not prepare yourselves for it. And you bury the dead, but you do not learn a lesson from it. And you have left your own faults, and instead busy yourself finding the faults of others.”

Finally, when making dua, remember that it is the essence of worship and the weapon of the believer. And remember what Allah says about those who scorn his worship: “And your Lord says, ‘Call upon Me; I will respond to you.’ Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.” [40:60]

Luxury vs. Necessity

Asalaam Alaikum (Peace be with you),

In the last year, I have conducted a social experiment of sorts on the nature of luxuries vs. necessities. This has partly been inspired by wanting to live a lifestyle more congruent with nature - rather than wholly dependent on duniya or material positions - and partly because I want to really see what I need in my life to be happy. So, although I have a car now, I did not have one from July 2008 to March 2009. And even now, I still walk a lot and use the car as sparingly as possible. Also, I still do not have a t.v., a laptop (it was stolen) or Internet access at home and I am happy about giving those things up.

But, where I am possibly going in a more extreme direction is seeing how long I can go this summer without turning on the A/C in my apartment. It will be June 1st in about 20 minutes and till now, wallahi (I swear) I have yet to use the airconditioning at my place. I will admit that I am trying to keep my electricity bill low - it really spiked in the winter due to heating - but I am also curious: can I live without A/C? Today I almost caved in when my thobe (long shirt from the Middle East) was literally stuck to my body while praying dhuhr and asr (second and third daily prayers). But decided to duke it out and see if I can do it.

If anything, this whole experience has actually made me homesick for India and the frequent powercuts of my youth in Chennai (Madras). I hope to be there in early August so maybe I should continue to spend the summer without A/C at home and just prepare myself physically for India. We shall see ...

I am off to Daytona Beach tomorrow for the Advanced Placement (AP) Reading and I hear it is 88'. Should be more practice for India ...

Greek "God"

Asalaam Alaikum,

Although I am not really superstitious, I do feel like sometimes that there are certain years in my life more significant than others. Call it coincidence if you will, though Islamically, we believe as Muslims that since everything is the Will of Allah (SWT), things don't just "happen."

In particular, as I near my 30th birthday (shudder), I look at 1979, 1989, 1999 and 2009 as major years. Each of these years has been enormous in my life for different years. I was born in 1979. My family moved to India in 1989. I got my first tattoo in 1999, an issue that I have blogged about a lot on this site. And, well, now we're in 2009 and the thought of turning 30 is scary, but also challenging in terms of thinking about where I thought I would be at this time, where I actually am and where I want to be. And when I say "where" I'm not saying it just in a geographic sense, but spiritually, financially, physically, etc.

Although my first tattoo was a big deal, only in that 34 would follow over the next seven years, another major event that took place in 1999 was my participation in the Greek God competition at Purdue. Although I had been living at Alpha Chi Rho Fraternity (27 Russell St.) since the summer of '98 and had genuinely embraced Greek life, I hadn't really interacted much with the rest of the Purdue Greek system, which is one of the three biggest in the nation. That all changed in the spring of 1999 when I took part in Greek Week, an annual event for the Greek community (which is ironic because the presence of Purdue's fraternities and sororities is always felt).

In particular, I decided to take part in the "Greek God" competition and I ended up coming 2nd by myself. That's the key word because the other houses (fraternities) had teams compete and they were all uber-cheesy - N Sync and Backstreet Boys routines. I thought, "Screw it. Let me do something different," which made sense because I was already an Indian guy in a fraternity. So, I lip-synced to Limp Bizkit's cover of "Faith" by George Michael. I don't know what I did right or how I did it, but the crowd lapped it up - especially the girls. I mean it's a high-energy song that was kind of impossible not to like in the late '90s.

I ended up becoming some sort of minor celebrity at Purdue, which I used as a springboard to become more involved in everything Greek at Purdue - Interfraternity Council, Homecoming King (I ran in 2000), Greek Gala, etc. But, one of the most lasting memories I had from that event is a t-shirt I made that said "Almost Greek God." And instead of just having a stupid t-shirt with red marker, I walked around to every sorority at Purdue and had a lot of the girls sign it.

I have had that t-shirt for 10 years and for some reason, I never thought to write about it or the experience till now. Perhaps the thought that this event took place a decade ago, made me realize that some sort of reflection was in order, so there you go. If you look at the pictures, you will see that the t-shirt is by itself nothing special - an 2XL, grey, Wal-Mart brand muscle t-shirt with no sleeves.

But, as I sit now, months from my 30th birthday and so far removed from many of those collegiate experiences, I have to admit that I enjoyed much of college because of experiences like that. And that if I had not gone through those things, I may not have found my way to this deen (way of life) in Islam. Yes, taking part in a "Greek God" competition seems rather foolish (or almost as much as lip-syncing to Limp Bizkit), but I always felt like I was so different from the other people in fraternities and sororities - even different than my own fraternity brothers at the Alpha Phi Chapter of Alpha Chi Rho.

The best way to describe it is a sense of displacement - I was too Indian to be American and to American to be Indian. I was on my own - to some extent - in Indiana and returning to the U.S. after an eight-year hiatus (1989 - 1997). I had not been socialized in the U.S. since my adolescence was in India. And then to lose two people to suicide in 2001 made my already unique college experience even more so and also created in me a sense of isolation and abandonment. As Trent Reznor said in "Hurt," "Everyone I know goes away in the end."

After I took these pictures of the t-shirt two weeks ago, I finally threw the t-shirt away. I had been meaning to for many years, but not until I wrote how I felt about it and the Greek God experience. The girls' names, the sororities' names, even my name have already faded into lore at Purdue. But, I take comfort in that unique experience in 1999 because I know I don't have the courage to do something like that now.

Men Stopping Violence

Asalaam Alaikum (Peace be with you),

By the Mercy of Allah (SWT), I was able to complete my 15-week internship with Atlanta-based Men Stopping Violence, an internationally reknowned domestic violence prevention organization, earlier this week. I can honestly say that I wasn't sure when I started if I would be able to complete the whole thing and be able to make it to the meetings - sometimes once a week, other times twice - but I am so happy that I stuck with it and that Allah (SWT) gave me the taufiq to stick with it.

There were three components to my internship - a community project; weekly group meetings with men who have been court-ordered to attend these classes; and biweekly internship meetings. Though the internship meetings were interesting because of the readings - bell hooks, Kevin Powell, Jackson Katz, etc. - and a highly explicit documentary on the porn industry (I still can't get over what some men consider to be "titillating") and the project allowed me to put what I had learned into action, the real benefit of the class was what I learned in the weekly meetings.

Although I have never hit a woman, MSV uses something known as the "Violent and Controlling Behaviors Checklist" and all I can say is that there is not a man living in the world today who has not used these behaviors with women. As one of my facilitators said, "We all deserve to be in court for what we have done to the women in our lives." And I would agree.

If you've never sat in with a group of abusive men, all I can say is that you have to really change a lot of your perceptions on how you think you might react and work on how you should react. As men, we are trained from birth through patriarchy and socialization to react as soon as someone says something. That too, reacting with anger is encouraged and accepted. Be a man! Don't cower! Say it loud!

But, at MSV, they flip the script. We are not allowed to speak back when receiving feedback and have to literally just take notes and call the person talking to us, later in the week. The idea is to not react, but allow ourselves to think before speaking, since most of us got into trouble for not thinking before speaking or doing something violent.

For example, this was the recent 12 Week Self-Inventory of one of my classmates, Xavier*. Can you honestly say that you would be able to just sit there and listen to him read this without wanting to say something? Can you believe that he sat there afterwards and without reacting, allowed himself to receive sharp and often times, harsh criticism from others?

"My worst incident was when I was drinking and being belligerent telling Christy* to shut the f**k up and yelling at my kids - Devon*, Allan* and Ramon* - and scaring them. I wanted to control them so I did the only thing I knew how to do. I stood up, punched the wall screaming, 'I'm going to f**k you up Christy and I did. I grabbed Christy by the face and hair choking Christy. I stood over Christy telling her, 'Christy, you are nothing but a piece of s**t and you will never be nothing.' Devon, Allan and Ramon heard and saw everything. I abused Christy, I abused Devon, I abused Allan and I abused Ramon, physically and emotionally and I am messed up for that."

[*all names have been changed to protect privacy]

This class has really changed me. I know that I have a long ways to go in terms of self-help and changing my controlling behaviors - violence is just more than physical and can be emotional, psychological, financial, etc. - but I really feel like Allah (SWT) is guiding me on the siratal mustaqeem (straight path) and that this class will, insha'Allah, help me.

I will write soon about my community project.