American Muslim

Class Exercise

Asalaam Alaikum (Peace be with you),

As many of you know, I've been teaching at a Chicago-area Islamic school for the last three months. It's currently a part-time job, but it could become FT if they offer me the right salary and if I don't get any of the other jobs I've applied for (I'm interviewing in Boston in two weeks for an awesome position).

I was just telling a friend of mine that although all my training so far has been in political science and teaching politics, I feel blessed to have become a pretty good English teacher. I think I have so many diverse experiences in my life so far that they are able to influence how I teach and how I like to incorporate new ideas in promoting student writing, reading and learning.

Over the weekend, I had my students write a short story on any topic of their choosing and told them it could be purely fictional, semi-autobiographical or completely biographical. Since I am boring, apparently, I did the assignment as well and wrote a true account. Oh, the only catch in the assignment - I guess it was a big one - is that they had to incorporate the following vocabulary/phrases/themes in their story (10 out of 15):

Death of a loved one, Painting, Conversion to Islam, A road trip, Waffles. Clocks, Snow, Early childhood, Scientist, Hajj, Fruit, College, Niqab/Hijab, Sunrise/Sunset and Love
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Here's my story (the themes I used are in bold):

“Where Did I Go Wrong? I Lost a Friend …”

Life has changed for me since Rob died. I could give all of the clichéd and sentimental reasons why this has happened, but the truth of it all is that I just don’t know where I belong as a person anymore. I wouldn’t say this was a theme of my early childhood, but definitely from my later high school years to the present … This overwhelming feeling of displacement.

I suppose we all ask ourselves these questions – “Who am I?” “What is the purpose of my life?” “Should I live my life to please myself or my parents” “What really makes me happy?” However, I feel like I have been put into several situations in the last ten years where I’ve had to confront this issue with perhaps, more urgency, than my peers. And these sudden desires to answer life’s most challenging questions have almost always occurred after the death of a friend or a romantic break-up – which make sense since at both these times we are the most vulnerable because we feel so alone.

I do know that I finally have the answers to some of these questions and I owe all thanks and gratitude to Allah (SWT) for allowing me to become Muslim and allowing me to gain knowledge through the Holy Qur’an and through the stories of the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wasallam). Who am I? I am a Muslim. What is the purpose of my life? It is to serve Allah (SWT) and to do as much good in this life as to justify jannah in the next one. Should I live my life to please myself or my parents? I should please myself, but I must always remind myself that Allah (SWT) has dictated that the path to jannah lies at my parents’ feet. Just as He allows for all sorts of miracles and everyday occurrences in nature from the rising and setting of the sun to the melting of snow, so to has He ordained that respect of ones parents is the greatest good.

However, it’s the last question that has provided me with so much self-doubt and confusion. What makes me happy? I tell you, nothing from my old, pre-Islamic life does anymore. Just three years ago I was in college working on an M.A. in Political Science; hosting two radio shows; DJing at Atlanta-area bars and clubs; dating a girl named Christy; tutoring refugee kids; and generally enjoying life.

But, now … now, my enjoyment comes from service and activities that are seemingly innocuous, but which provide enormous spiritual satisfaction. Now, I teach English at an Islamic school where I am blessed to be in the company of righteous brothers and sisters, a sea of taqwa, huffaz and hijabis. Now I spend my free time working on job applications and really getting to know my parents. Now, my favorite place to be is the local Masjid where I can sit in peace and tranquility and read Qur’an, hear a lecture or feel the hairs stand up on my skin and the back of my neck when the adhan is called – the antithesis of the college or neighborhood bar where I once sought tragic company. Or the simple thrill of waking up before the time of fajr to pray tahajud and ask Allah (SWT) for the taufiq to attend hajj.

In conclusion, I guess what makes me happy now are the simple acts of luxuriating in the presence of Allah (SWT). These activities now are the ones that give me the greatest happiness. May Allah (SWT) forgive all my sins since becoming Muslim and give me the ability to please Him through all my actions and good deeds in this life. Ameen.