American Muslim

"Where did I go wrong?/I lost a friend/Somewhere along in the bitterness/And I would have stayed up with you all night/If I'd known, how to save a life"

Asalaam Alaikum,

One of the blessings of Allah (SWT) is the ease that has been placed on travellers in relation to praying. Yes, one still has to make wudu and wear the appropriate attire, but the actual numbers of rakats (cycles) of prayer are truncated. So, today as I was driving from Chicago to Atlanta, I was able to easily and comfortably make wudu and pray at different rest areas along the way. I prayed fajr (morning prayer) in IL; duhr (early afternoon prayer) in IN; asr (late afternoon prayer) in KY; and maghrib (evening prayer) and isha (night paryer) in TN.

I am in Atlanta this week for a few reasons - to celebrate Thanksgiving with a halal turkey with friends; to attend a friend's walima (post-wedding celebration); and to reconnect with my Atlanta Muslim family.

But, the most important reason I am here is to give a lecture on Friday at Masjid Al-Hedaya in Marietta. The title - "An Islamic Perspective on Depression and Suicide: A Guide for Muslim Parents and Students." They were not Muslims, but I am here to honor the memories of three friends who have all killed themselves - Kristine Noonan (1978 - 2001); Blair Tyree Smith (1981-2001) and of course, Rob McDill (1976 - 2007).

Rob was my fraternity brother and giant of a man - physically and emotionally. He just had a huge personality. And although he is the third friend I have lost to suicide in the last six years, his death has hit me the hardest among them all. But, at the same time, because I've had six years to grieve over Kristine and Blair, I was in some ways emotionally ready when he died. Well, at least I thought I was - Rob's death has hit me not with a raw wave of emotion, but just the stunned realization that I won't see his cherubic face anymore at the house. Or at games. Or in front of his Guinness bottle collection at his house on Waldron, opposite Acacia.

Since Rob's death, I have really become involved in suicide prevention with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). I raised funds and took part in their "Out of the Darkness" walk two months ago in Busse Woods in Schaumburg, IL; received training three weeks ago to become a certified facilitator of suicide support groups; started attending a support group for my needs; and most importantly, received the motivation I needed to start my own non-profit.

I haven't finished filing the paperwork to legally establish my organization as a 501 c(3) in Illinois, but insha'allah, Allah (SWT) blesses my work and allows the process to go quickly. I have decided to call it the Muslim Suicide Survivors Association (MuSSA) because Musa (alayhi sallam), is the Arabic name for Moses, one of our Prophets. The function of the organization will be two-fold - the first is to bring survivors of suicide loss, like myself, together in support groups - physical and electronic - for cathartic healing. And the second is to raise awareness in the Muslim community about depression and suicide, offer faith-based solutions to suicide; and offer general education with dealing with depressed and suicidal people (Mattress: Maybe you can help me with a website?)

That is why I'm in Atlanta. I'm giving my first talk on behalf of MuSSA on Friday and I hope to do the same across the U.S. I am slowly building connections with Muslim folks involved in community clinics, mental health, etc. and hope to get some grant money and start giving talks on the subject to at least raise awareness.

May Allah (SWT) accept my efforts because I really don't know how else to help people and help myself. Am I doing this for myself? Yes, to help me heal. And I hope through my healing, I can help and heal others. If I can save even one Muslim high school or college student from even thinking about suicide, then my mission has been a success.