American Muslim

(Un)covering My Tattoos

left, original movie poster for "American History X;" middle, my right arm; and right, the Faulkner portrait on my left pec.

The most emotional scene for me in "American History X" had to have been the bathroom scene when Edward Norton steps out of the shower, looks at himself in the mirror and covers the swastika on his chest with his left arm. To me, the scene symbolizes a whole lot of regret for the life he chose as a White Supremacist, made all the more permanent and visible by such a thought-provoking tattoo.

Flipping the script, let's take a brief look at my current position. I am a 27-year old new Muslim convert who got into tattoos at the tender age of 19 with a simple, one-line tattoo of my fraternity motto (I'm sure Dan remembers that day) and as of today, has 33 tattoos including, but not limited to, portraits of William Faulkner, Jack London, Ozzy Osbourne and my paternal grandfather; Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker from "Empire ....;' an ode to Purdue; and loyalty to India and the U.S..

The problem ... is that I am addicted to tattoos. It's not a fetish as I do not receive sexual gratification from it, but I love getting tattooed. The sound of the needle gun, the smell of inks, the pain (masochism? maybe) and the permanency of design have all appealed to me. You may not believe this as others do, but the hardest thing for me to give up is not even sex, but getting tattooed.

Tattoos have been such a large part of my life and how I have defined myself for the last eight years, that I simply cannot imagine my life without them (http://www.tattooblog.org/entry/tattoo-showing-skin-deep-love/). It's really hard to explain, but I get treated completely different when my shirt sleeves are up or my shirt sleeves are down. I go from Indian grad student to tattooed Indian grad student and there's an immediate change in how people perceive me.

The problem is of course that getting tattooed and tattooing someone are both 'haraam' or forbidden according to Islam. Now, although I have not gotten tattooed since converting, anyone who knows me knows that my tattoos "peak out" just about all the time. And trust me, that provides countless weird looks at the masjid (mosque) or any other gathering of Muslims. I mean if someone asks, I just say that it's pre-conversion and they are usually satisfied, but occasionally I get an "expert" on Islam who tells me that my 'wudu' or washing for prayer is invalid because of the tattoos or something like that [this is false.].

So, what does Islam say about tattoos? Well, the first thing anyone must do is repent for getting or giving a tattoo. And I have repented and do so now - I am sorry for getting all of these tattoos and in'shallah, I will get them removed when I am able. Now, the question of tattoo removal is also controversial because of how it is done. The Imam at my masjid, Imam Z, has told me that at all costs, I should not undergo any painful procedure and if tattoo removal is so painful, then I shouldn't do it. However, he said I should get some of my tattoos tattooed over with black ink to cover the faces of people and animals and text. That would be quite a few tattoos for me. However, my Dad is a doctor and for years, has shown me study after study that slowly prove that some tattoo inks can travel from the skin to the liver over time. And there's a good chance the damage has already been done to my liver from some inks, so I am not getting my tattoos covered up with more ink..

The only thing I can really do now is stay covered up as much as possible and in'shallah, one day I'll have the money to remove the tattoos with new and improved lasering techniques.